Day of the Dad

Today I woke up at about 6:50 am to get to Simi Valley, CA from Hollywood, CA by 8 am. I did. I had to meet the movers. They came to help me move my pops out of his place. My pops has lived in Simi Valley for over 15 years. Over the last 5 years, his health has rapidly declined. During this Christmas holiday, he ended up in the hospital and then was sent to a convalescent home. I was in vegas with my family celebrating christmas like we always do. When I got back from vegas, I found out the extent of his situation. His apartment complex was no longer accepting Section 8 and he and my uncle had to move out like yesterday. Meanwhile, he’s in the hospital and I have to deal with all of it. I spent new year’s day stressing out about where my dad was going live, where I was going to put his stuff, whether or not he was going to lose his Section 8 voucher, and wondering where my uncle was going to live?

Long story short, its been a crazy start to 2015. It’s been super overwhelming at times. Luckily I have an amazing support network around me. My mom killed it today and over the last couple weeks – like she always does. She helped me pack my dad’s stuff and even visited my pops, her ex, a couple times. My eldest brother is in another state so he could only really help me over the phone. In any case, we got it done. At least for now. His stuff is in storage and my pops is still at that nursing home. Now, I have to find him a permanent place to live, an old folks home or otherwise. I hope to find him an apartment so he and my uncle can still live together, but we only have a certain amount of time before his voucher expires. I wish he could live with me, but I don’t have the ability to take care of him right now, which makes me feel somewhat bad.

Seeing my dad in this situation, so helpless; seeing all his stuff, moving it, feeling slightly resentful for having to, then feeling ashamed and guilty for feeling that way, it’s giving me so much motivation to not end up like him. I don’t want to burden myself like that or my family. I don’t want to just decay, like he has over the last 15 years. Perhaps its not his fault, but I’ll have to save that for another day. What I must say now though is this: I want to thrive until I die, and so I shall strive for that to be. I shall scream so loud with all of my might that my heart bursts and paints the sky with my passion. I declare, I shall thrive.

As He Will Want To Be Remembered, As He Shall

As He Will Want To Be Remembered, As He Shall

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